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Starting at the Bottom
Dragon Ball has been around for forty years. In that time, Akira Toriyama gave us some of the most recognizable women in anime. Bulma built the Capsule Corp empire. Android 18 went from Cell Saga killer to suburban soccer mom. Videl went from stuck-up tomboy to Gohan's wife. Chi-Chi yelled at everybody for three hundred episodes.
Six women in this series ended up as wives, and let's not pretend they are all created equal. Some of them aged like wine and some of them, well, we will get to that. This is every Dragon Ball wife, ranked by hotness, from worst to first.
6. Chi-Chi
Somebody had to be last, and it was never going to be anybody else. In the official Dragon Ball popularity poll, even Bulma's cat ranked above her. Chi-Chi is the only wife on this list who never had a hot era. Every other woman on this ranking has at least one arc where she is turning heads. Chi-Chi goes straight from the bun and the apron in Dragon Ball Z to looking like she is pushing a hundred by Dragon Ball Super. The woman ages ten years every saga. By the Tournament of Power she looks like somebody's grandma trying to make lunch. It is not just the looks. Chi-Chi guilt-tripped Goku into marrying her in front of a whole crowd at the World Martial Arts Tournament, off a promise he did not even know he was making. Dude thought marriage was a type of food. What was he going to say, no, in front of a whole crowd? Now you know why Goku spends half the series training in space. He's not saving the universe, he's hiding from her. You would too.5. Bulma
Bulma is actually pretty hot sometimes. Bunny suit Bulma, Namek Saga Bulma with the pink shirt, she has had her moments. The problem is we have been watching her since episode one of the original Dragon Ball. We have seen every single version of this woman. She also yelled at Yamcha for a hundred episodes, then yelled at Vegeta for a hundred more. Somewhere along the way she stopped being a character and turned into a plot device who fixes everything with science. She is basically all used up at this point. We watched her grow up, get cheated on, get married, have two kids, and get old. The mystery is gone. When she shows up in a new episode we are bored. We want to see somebody else on screen. That is exactly why she ends up at five.
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Climbing the Ranks
4. Panchy
Here is where the ranking gets fun. Panchy is Bulma's mom, and the only reason she is not lower on this list is that Toriyama barely used her, so she never wore out her welcome. Every single time she shows up on screen she is carrying a tray of tea, wearing something that makes it very clear she is still a smokeshow, and smiling like she has no idea what is going on around her. She beats Bulma purely on scarcity. When you only see a woman every forty episodes she gets to stay interesting. Bulma never had a chance at that because we saw her every day. Panchy gets to float in, look incredible for her age, and float right back out. That is a higher skill ceiling than most characters on this show ever reach.3. Gine
Gine is Goku's biological mom and she barely gets any screen time, but what we do see is gold. She has got the soft face, the Saiyan tail, the same hair shape as Goku, which brings me to my favorite part of this whole ranking. If you're a dude and have ever caught yourself looking at Goku a little too long, good news, you can love on Gine without being gay. She looks just like him. Same face, same cheekbones, same everything. On top of that she is genuinely cute. Soft personality, did not force Bardock into anything, raised a baby Saiyan and put him in a pod to Earth because she actually loved him and wanted him to live. Good wife, good mom, number three.2. Videl
Quick disclaimer before we go any further. We are not counting pixie cut Videl in this ranking. That Buu Saga haircut is a crime against anime wives. Lucky for her, no one is as bad as Chi-Chi. Dragon Ball Z Videl with the pigtails is the peak. A little feisty, a little bratty, could fly, could actually throw hands with her husband if she wanted to. Top tier anime wife material. Super Videl is where she claws the rest of the points back. She is at home now, cooks, cleans, takes care of Pan, and does not nag Gohan about his training. A woman who was feisty when you met her, calmed down into a solid housewife, and still looks good doing it. That is the dream. Whether you like pigtails Videl or housewife Videl, there is a Videl for everyone. (Pixie cut Videl is for no one.)
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